Bringing Up Baby

 

Best comedy ever. 1938 RKO studio. How comedy should be done. There is no fat here. No boring parts, no unnecessary back story, nothing that goes on too long or is lacking changes of pace. No bathroom comedy or disparagement to any group is necessary. It is over 80 years old but is not dated. It definitely takes place in another time but there are no out of place cultural assumptions that make you wince. It is a study in how it should be done. Comedy is technique, timing, and stuff that is unexpected, contradictory or just weird. The performances are spot on. The dialogue is perfect. The action is non-stop but never tires the viewer.

Check it out.

And while you're at it don't miss "Some Like it Hot". a comedy classic by the fabulous  Billy Wilder. 1959 and again not dated. It's from another time (1959) about a still earlier time (the 1920s) but no cringe worthy dated actions or dialogue. It's got men in drag, gangsters, jazz music, sexual hijinks without being trashy or derogatory or at anyone's expense. And in the end you love who you love even if they are poor or the same sex as you are, and you sacrifice for them. It's fun, breezy, paced perfectly, no boring parts.

the mini-synopsis of your query

 

 

 

There are many parts to a query letter: the opening, the hook, the mini-synopsis, biographical information, and closing.

 

I’m going to say a few things about the mini-synopsis here. This is not the hook. The hook is something completely different and not discussed here.  Mini-synopsis is really a misnomer. If you think about it as a synopsis, you will probably get it wrong and also drive yourself crazy. You get around 3 short paragraphs, more or less, to elaborate from your hook on what happens in your fabulous manuscript. The ideal length is loosely from 100 words to 250 words. Anything longer is probably pushing it. Anything smaller is probably not enough.

 

It is really not a synopsis.  It is not an outline – god forbid. And it’s not a summary. If you think you have to include all the important people and events in your manuscript you are off to a bad start. What it is, is an advertisement. Its sole raison d’etre is to get the agent or editor you are querying to read you manuscript. And to get them to want to read your manuscript. And to get them to really, really want to read your manuscript.

 

You have to include some info on your main character. Do you have to include all the main plot points? – nope! Do you have to include all the other main characters? – nope! Do you have to include backstory? – definitely nope! Do you have to include the ending? – nope! You get the idea. Everything else is optional. After writing a whole book and hopefully a synopsis (you will be asked for it) it is kind of hard to change gears to marketing from creating a whole world. And of course, you know everything about your manuscript and the people and the place(s). Why it all happens. And you want to tell some agent or editor all about it. Don’t. Not here. And of course, it would be an impossible task to do that in 150 words, more or less. This is why it drives authors crazy.

 

So how do you approach your “mini-synopsis”? Well, you can look at how is should be done. If you look up books in online bookstores or in library listings, they have what is called a blurb. A few paragraphs which are an advertisement for the book. The blurb is basically the same as mini-synopsis, or what the mini-synopsis of your query should be. And if you look at a lot of them, you can detect a pattern.

 

They are usually 3 or 4 paragraphs, give or take a paragraph or two. The first one introduces the main character or sometimes the setting. It gives a brief but specific description. By specific I mean the description has pertinent information, it’s not random. Whatever way you describe you MC it must go to the heart of what they are as that pertains directly to this story.

 

The next paragraph is the inciting incident paragraph. You put out there what it is that happened to start the whole hullabaloo.

 

The 3^rd and sometimes 4^th paragraphs elaborate on the situation and present the possibilities of what could happen, or what the challenge is. 

 

As to the events of the plot, neat details, other characters  - here is a place where less is more. Remember it's not really a synopsis; it's an advertisement.

 

The language used is also of a certain type. For most writing, the writing police will fine you if you use adjectives and adverbs or a lot of adjectives and adverbs. But in a mini-synopsis they are rampant. Use at least one for every noun or verb and as many as three.

 

There are also types of phrases that are used. Like:

 

Receives an urgent something

While working to solve something

While something

Stunned to discover something

Someone joins forces with Someone

Was involved with someone or something

Someone learns Something

Match wits with someone

Decipher something

Anticipate something

With only something

Sets out to find something

Accompanied by someone

As their Adventure unfolds

unites someones

something reveals something

someone sees something

Now everything's changed

When something

discover that something

And then someone sees

 

One thing to remember, and this is important, is that the mini-synopsis should be written in the same style as your manuscript. Often writers write the mini-synopsis in a stiff style that is like an academic lecture on their manuscript. Not good. You are not writing about your manuscript; you are writing an extension of your manuscript. You are presenting a taste of your manuscript. It is like an amuse bouche. A provocative taste of what's to come.

 

Here are a few professional blurbs that pull all those elements together:

 

The excellent blurb for The Da Vinci Code:

 

While in Paris on business, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon receives an urgent late-night phone call: the elderly curator of the Louvre has been murdered inside the museum. Near the body, police have found a baffling cipher. While working to solve the enigmatic riddle, Langdon is stunned to discover it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of Da Vinci — clues visible for all to see — yet ingeniously disguised by the painter.

Langdon joins forces with a gifted French cryptologist, Sophie Neveu, and learns the late curator was involved in the Priory of Sion — an actual secret society whose members included Sir Isaac Newton, Botticelli, Victor Hugo, and Da Vinci, among others.

In a breathless race through Paris, London, and beyond, Langdon and Neveu match wits with a faceless powerbroker who seems to anticipate their every move. Unless Langdon and Neveu can decipher the labyrinthine puzzle in time, the Priory's ancient secret — and an explosive historical truth — will be lost forever.

 

 

Here's one for a book that's a favorite of mine, The Trials of Morrigan Crow:

 

Morrigan Crow is cursed. Having been born on Eventide, the unluckiest day for any child to be born, she's blamed for all local misfortunes, from hailstorms to heart attacks--and, worst of all, the curse means that Morrigan is doomed to die at midnight on her eleventh birthday.

But as Morrigan awaits her fate, a strange and remarkable man named Jupiter North appears. Chased by black-smoke hounds and shadowy hunters on horseback, he whisks her away into the safety of a secret, magical city called Nevermoor.

It's then that Morrigan discovers Jupiter has chosen her to contend for a place in the city's most prestigious organization: the Wundrous Society. In order to join, she must compete in four difficult and dangerous trials against hundreds of other children, each with an extraordinary talent that sets them apart--an extraordinary talent that Morrigan insists she does not have. To stay in the safety of Nevermoor for good, Morrigan will need to find a way to pass the tests--or she'll have to leave the city to confront her deadly fate.

 

 

And The Mystery of Black Hollow Lane:

With a dad who disappeared years ago and a mother who's a bit too busy to parent, Emmy is shipped off to Wellsworth, a prestigious boarding school in England, where she's sure she won't fit in.

But then she finds a box of mysterious medallions in the attic of her home with a note reading: These belonged to your father.

When she arrives at school, she finds the strange symbols from the medallions etched into walls and books, which leads Emmy and her new friends, Jack and Lola, to Wellsworth's secret society: The Order of Black Hollow Lane.

Emmy can't help but think that the society had something to do with her dad's disappearance, and that there may be more than just dark secrets in the halls of Wellsworth...

 

Look up online the blurbs for books of the same type/genre and style as your manuscript and check out what they are like and how they are put together. Use them as your guide on what to put into your mini-synopsis. Not every blurb follows the template set down here or in the exact order, and styles will vary. But I bet you will see they all cover about the same territory in about the same length.

 

Not every story is the Hero’s Journey

 

Diversity

I am so over the Hero’s journey. Not every story is one of inner transformations. Since the popularization of Joseph Campbell’s work, the writing police have decreed that every story must have its protagonist undergo some defining inner struggle and subsequent transformation. I just ain’t so.  In fact, most stories are not stories of a protagonist’s inner struggles and neither should they be. Truthfully, I like Joseph Campbell’s work and his theories they just don’t define every or even most stories. And in the world of Anthropology many scholars differ with Campbell on his ideas about mythology and mythological patterns. He is probably way to narrow in his analysis of mythical heroes. But it seems that a variety of people who write books about writing have glommed onto Campbell, concocting their own (limited) interpretation of him. Then laid out their interpretation as a gospel dictating that every story needs to have the protagonist go through some psychological struggle and resulting epiphany.

Let’s take a closer look. Think about mysteries. Does Hercule Poirot ever change in any of the books Christie wrote about him? Nope, not one hair of his mustache. Neither does Miss Marple or Child’s Jack Reacher. Moving on to thrillers, does the protagonist ever undergo a soul-searching rebirth? Not really, they are usually too busy escaping from the bad guy out the window on the top floor of a twenty-story building. 

Let’s look at fairy tales. Does Cinderella undergo an epiphany, leave home and enroll in college? No, she does not. Neither do Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Jack from beanstalk land, the Frog Prince, or the Twelve Brothers. Fairy tale protagonists for the most part stay the same. They usually have magical help, are finally recognized for their virtue, or just get away with a lot of mischief which enables them to live happily ever after.

Is literary fiction full of tales of soul searching and moral or psychological struggle and re-generation?  Not often. Not unless your reading Dostoevsky and I would classify him as classic fiction not literary. Modern literary fiction is more about character analysis, not character change.

Speaking of classical fiction, does Hamlet change? No, he does not. He starts out indecisive, goes on being indecisive, worries about being indecisive, and basically dies being indecisive. Even his last duel is not initiated by him, but forced upon him by others. Does Othello change? No, he just acknowledges that “I am one who loved not wisely but too well.” In all of Shakespeare I can think of few characters that undergo a change of world view or a change of heart.  Many of them are shown to be miscreants and told to change or punished but not many are changing through a journey of the soul. And what about Henry V? He goes from a drunken bounder, Prince Hal, to war hero – “Cry, God for Harry, England, and Saint George!“. But Shakespeare suggests he planned it all and the drunkard was just an act.

Jane Austin’s heroines can be held up as Campbellian type heroines going on a soul quest. But not all of them. Elizabeth Bennet does undergo a profound self-reassessment, but Jane does not. In Sense and Sensibility Marianne’s personal crisis makes her physically ill and results also in a profound self-assessment but Eleanor does not. She remains as she started. Though her personal integrity is constantly challenged throughout the story, she remains unchanged, true to herself. 

Moving on to Jane Eyre. I’m going to say that Jane never changes. From her childhood she is fiercely individualistic and has a strict code of morals that she never wavers from. She is constantly assaulted by others to get her to change who she is. She is severely abused by her relatives and her educators. But she never changes her behavior to placate them. Her beloved angelic friend Helen Burns dies through neglect of her caretakers. Does that prompt Jane to try and be more like Helen? Nope. She is tempted by men (Rochester and Rivers) to give up her self-image and make herself over to satisfy their desires. But does she? Never. The whole book is a series of assaults and temptations testing whether she will remain true to herself. It is not a quest to discover her true self. 

All I am trying to say here is that not every story has to have the protagonist discover some hidden truth about themselves, have an epiphany of self-revelation, or learn something about themselves and be forever changed (probably for the better). In fact, most stories do not contain this element and neither should they. Some stories are just about adventure, or solving a mystery, defeating a bad guy, overcoming adversity (just as you are), figuring out a puzzle, rise in fortune or fall in fortune, funny chaos and love triumphs. Tons of things where no one learns more about themselves or changes for the better. 

It’s time for the writing police to give it a rest and stop trying to fit every story into one plot template.

 

What you need to do before you write

 

 

The stereotypical representation of a fiction writer ala Hollywood is some guy sitting at a typewriter with a blank sheet of paper not having a clue what he will type and waiting for inspiration. He endures constant torture through every blank page he enters in his typewriter. But torture is the price of genius. This is the 1940s depiction of writing.

 

80 years later, torture is strictly optional. So is being male. If you sit down with no idea or ideas of what you are going to write, well yeah, your experience is going to be painful. Yes, I know certain people use this method and forswear any other, but I ‘m going to say it is not an effective use of a writer’s energy or talents.

 

You need to wait before you begin to write. You need to wait before you begin to write. You are not reading a typo. You need to wait before you begin to write.

 

When you get an idea write it down, somewhere. Write all your ideas down. Most writers have lists of possible ideas. The more ideas you write down the more ideas will come to you. When you want to, start thinking about your idea. Do any research on the idea that occurs to you. Think about it when you are driving in your car, on the bus, doing housework, before falling asleep, when you sit down and decide to think about it etc. But no pressure; this should be a fun thing. See your characters in your head and picture their interactions and dialogue like watching a movie. Go over in your head parts of the idea you have already figured out. This will prime your imagination to enlarge what you already have planned.

 

Whenever you come up with more ideas about your idea, write them down. This could be new characters, new action, backstory, or new encounters between characters, or dialogue or whatever.  Create a document with all your ideas and research about this idea. The more you do this the more you will find yourself thinking about your idea without deciding to think about it, and having ideas that expand your idea.

Going from idea to first draft is kind of like rolling a snowball down a snowy hill. It grows as it rolls along.

 

As you are doing this you will be putting down events that happen in your plot. At some point start organizing those events into an outline. When you are ready, complete your outline and then you are ready to start writing.

 

Because you have all this information does not mean when you write your first draft things won’t change. And because something is in your first draft does not mean it will remain in your next draft, or the next one, or the one after that. Yes, your work of fiction will have many drafts.

 

Opening Pages - some things to think about

spellbinding

 

To get agents and editors interested in your book your opening needs to work. It needs to have the right stuff. The right opening sentence, the right opening paragraph, the right opening chapter.

What is the right stuff:

1. introduce the protagonist
2. introduce the protagonist's problem
3. established the genre
4. establish time and place
5. establish the tone - may be the most important

Agents and Editors want to see the above things right away or they will stop reading. Not necessarily in the first sentence, or paragraph, but not far from it.

And you have to convey all this information in  an intriguing way.   An entertaining way.  It's not just about the right information. Being intriguing and entertaining is a matter of personal taste. And whether someone likes your work - editor, agent, or reader - is also going to be to an extent a matter of personal test. You need to find a following that likes your writing. Not everyone will. But your writing has to be good, entertaining, intriguing to some people, or enough people.

Then there are things that you should not do. You should not do them because they will turn off agents and editors. Whether they are "bad" things to do in some kind of esoteric "how to create a great piece of literature"  way or even if they work with readers or not is not the issue. These are just things that "currently" turn off agents and editors:

1. starting with a description of a place, time, culture, etc.
2. beginning with the backstory of the main character, nation, culture, etc.
3. starting extreme action with characters un-introduced, the problem unknown, the place unknown,  basically the reader doesn't know anything about anything yet..
   
4. Too much information to begin with, too many characters, too much going on.
   

I personally like a beginning with description. Take the opening of The Tale of Two Cities:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way..."

This goes on for a few pages of cultural description which comprise the entire first chapter. It is a famous and highly admired opening. You could not do this today and get published. At least not as a previously unpublished writer. As an established best selling author - maybe.

Alice Hoffman's first chapter of her novel Here on Earth is also a chapter of pure lyrical description. I think it's fabulous. She is also a best selling writer. As an as yet unpublished writer I would caution you to think twice. There are also great books that begin with several chapters of backstory. Arguably the first half of Jane Eyre could be considered backstory.

Too much action with too many characters - too much going on: I can't think of any successful books that do that, but that doesn't mean there are none.

It's so easy for an agent or editor to just stop reading. They have so many other submissions to read and so few slots for new authors to represent or new books to publish that tossing a manuscript into the trash pile is way easy.

So the things you need to have are:

1. a good premise for your book; something new, or with a new twist, or interesting in some way to someone(s).
   
2. And then provide all the "right stuff" in your opening so the reader/agent/editor knows right up front what they're getting into.
   
3. And then maybe most important - I think it is - your writing has to be a joy to read. It doesn't have to be ostentatious or flashy. In fact if your writing is too noticeable and distracting that is not a good thing. If a reader is taken out of the story by the wording of sentences this is not good. Don't disrupt the flow. If it is humorous or insightful, maybe edgy or lyrical, that's great as long as it works and entices the reader to read on. Some of the other "right stuff" may even be missing up front if the writing is spellbinding enough.

reading like a writer

 

Often given advice to writers is that you have to read a lot. Read what others in your genre/category are writing. Read what are considered the great works in your genre. Know everything that is and has gone on in your genre of interest since the beginning of human literacy. A wide breadth of reading in your field, topic, format, age group, etc. is deemed a necessity for being able to compose a “worthy” offering of your own.

I agree with that advice up to a point. It's definitely a good idea to know what is being published and is successful, has been monetarily successful or critically successful, is in demand, etc. What is currently going on. It is also good to find books and writers you admire and would like to emulate and ones you would prefer not to emulate.

However, if you really want to improve your writing and develop your own voice simply reading is not good enough. You have to read like a writer. You can be extremely well read, having consumed a large mass of noteworthy books and not know a thing about writing, or even better: good writing. Read a lot of literary critiques, especially by people who don’t write books themselves and you will see some really bad writing. Professional critics are some of the most prolific readers and the worst writers imaginable.

So what is reading like a writer? When a reader reads a book they fall into a kind of trance and forget themselves, and their lives and that they are even reading. It's like being in a dream. This is by design and if it doesn’t happen or is on and off, the book is flawed. If the reader starts thinking about what’s for dinner or skips pages to get to the good parts, the book is not doing its job. Certainly there are some books that “break the 4th wall” and take the reader out of the story, probably for some philosophical detour, but if that detour isn’t also all-consuming, then the book is failing in doing its job.

However, as a writer you can’t learn anything while you are in the trance of reading. All you can do is enjoy the experience. As a writer you need to read any book you read for expanding your writing chops, more than once. In fact possibly, probably many times. The first reading should be strictly as a reader; for pure enjoyment or lack of. After you have read the book, you need to note your gut reactions. And hopefully on a more specific level than it was great, ok, or bad. What parts were really enjoyable and what about them made it enjoyable for you. And the reverse; what was bad, boring, dumb, cringe worthy and why.

At this point the writer/reader has to decide: am I going to treat this book as a writing learning experience for myself or not. If yes proceed to reading the book as a writer, if not? go on to another book.

At this point the reading becomes a research project. You are going to analyze this book and figure out how it works. You may read the book many times for different purposes.  When making a pass through the book, you may read the whole book or just specific chapters.

Firstly, you want to read the book slowly, resisting the pull of the book to put you into a trance and remain conscious of the effect the book is having on you. Did you come upon a sentence or a paragraph that you particularly enjoy or admire? Stop. Ask yourself why? Was it the wordsmithing, or the psychological insight, the unexpected plot twist, or the fabulous dialogue? Likewise, where the book falls short, ask yourself why? What is lacking? You may want to take notes. After re-reading the book or parts of the book in this way summarize your responses. What made this book above average or below average for you? What parts(types of writing) does the author do wonderful work and what parts could use improvement? And what is your response/preference? Are you particularly wowed by great dialogue or killer descriptions? Where does your interest(s) lie?

At this point if you have found parts/paragraphs of writing you particularly admire, copy them out and keep them to refer to. I keep a file(s) of writing samples I admire and often look at them before I start a writing session or while I am writing. And I am not the only one who does this. Famous writers do this also. Quite a while back I read an article in Writers Digest where some famous (don’t recall the names now, one of them might have been either Margaret Atwood or Joan Didion) authors did this practice.

You can also practice a drill; writing in the same way the paragraph was written. Take the piece of writing and make similar a piece of your own by replacing each word with a different word of the same type. For instance the sentence:

James took a pie over to his aunt’s house.
Would become:
Harriet broke the cup from her mother’s collection.

You can be a little lenient with the prepositions.

Often the whole is greater than its parts: it’s not the word or sentence but the way several sentences come together in a paragraph. Doing drills like this can be very helpful because they take you out of viewing something from the outside to creating it from the inside. You begin to feel the relationship of the writer to their words. Instead of just writing a whole new book, doing drills on areas you need improvement on can be more helpful. That's what elite athletes do and top musicians. They  don't just practice playing matches and performances, they work on specific areas that need improvement.

Another way you may want to read the book is  noticing the different parts of writing (description, dialogue, action, internal thoughts, and narration) the author uses and how they use them. Which does the author use most often, which least often or barely? Which does the author do well and what not so well? How does the author combine the different parts? Each author has parts they are better at than others and each author has their own way of weaving together the different parts.

You don't have to only analyse books you think are spectacular on all levels. You may like one writer's descriptions and another's plotting. You may love one writer's dialogue and hate their action sequences. It's helpful to clearly understand what you admire and why and what you find lacking and why. And then look at your own writing and ask yourself what you want it to be.  What you want to improve and in what way.

Reading a book as a writer doesn’t only help you technically but it helps you develop your own aesthetic. Writing isn’t just technique. It's what you want to say in the broadest sense. What do you want to show the reader? Do you want to show the reader how brutal and vicious the death penalty is? Or how full of mystery, beauty and magic the world is? Or how people are able to change the whole way they operate in the world? Or how entrancing a great romance is? You may not even know yourself until you see what you want your writing to be in how others write. Until you say, "I want to be able to do that."

What is this author doing? Pay attention. Be specific. Do I like or loathe it or simply not care? How do they do it? Do I want to be able to do it? Do I want to avoid doing it?

the quest for the perfect word

A piece of popular advice on writing goes something like this: you need to find the perfect word to express whatever it is you are trying to express. And there is only one perfect word. Genius writers will be able to find this word. Lesser writers do not find the perfect word.

And by extrapolation this also holds for the perfect sentence, paragraph, chapter, etc. When you find this perfection, which is unique and cannot be exchanged for any other word, sentence, paragraph, etc., your writing will be praised by the gods and you will win the Olympic gold medal for writing.

Well, I have news for you. There is no perfect word or sentence or chapter. Any of a number of words, sentences, and paragraphs will do equally well to express whatever it is you are seeking to express. In fact I would say there is an infinite number and combination of words that will equally express the same thoughts, ideas, sentiments and that are equally beautiful, transcendent and powerful.

The seeking of the perfect word is a myth similar to the seeking of the Holy Grail. It is also an insanity designed to limit your creativity and dry up your soul in the quest for something that does not exist and cannot exist. Perfection does not exist. And if it did, whose perfection would it be? Who would be the arbiter of perfection? And who would decide who the arbiter was? Would no one else be allowed an opinion? If we all have opinions and a right to them then logically there cannot be perfection.

But aside from all the logical discrepancies, it’s just a fool’s task. And it’s limiting. Instead of trying to anoint a perfect word, take joy in all the fabulous words that exist and all the great ways of expressing the same thing. Go for abundance not exclusion. Seek more not less.

Perfection is static but life is not static; it is ever changing. Perfection is death. Take joy in everything that delights you and stop needing to declare one thing, the winner, the best, the apex of creativity.

Yes, you have to decide eventually what word to use. And different people will tell you different words and declare with extreme self-confidence this one is the only perfect one. But it’s all a scam. At some point you just have to choose, and go with it, and move on. As long as it makes you joyful in the moment. Just know it is one of an infinite number of perfect words.

 

 

On Dialogue

Dialogue

Dialogue can be some of the best fiction writing. We all love to recall famous words said in favorite books by characters we love and hate.

Like for instance:

“It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

—Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement."

—Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known.”

- Sidney Carton A Tale of Two Cites

“But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”
-W.B Yeats

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.”
Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare

I could go on forever with this so I will stop now.

Most of these words are nothing like what a real person in real life would ever say. Even if people would express these ideas and sentiments they would never, off the cuff, express them so eloquently. But as a writer, yeah, it’s good to have your characters speak with elegance and power which doesn’t always mean with sophistication. Take for instance:

"'He's a nice fella,' said Slim. 'Guy don't need no sense to be a nice fella. Seems to me sometimes it jus' works the other way around. Take a real smart guy and he ain't hardly ever a nice fella.'"

- 'Of Mice And Men'.

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

—Winnie the Pooh 

So a major thing to know about writing dialogue is that it is nothing like real speech between real people. And it shouldn’t be. Real speech is full of phrases like: uh huh, awesome dude!, hey no, but wait, oh…, Are you hungry, how’s it going?, I just broke my pencil, a…a…a, Hi how you doing?, please come in,  etc., etc. Remember what Elmore Lenard said – Leave out the boring parts (paraphrased)

Don’t go on forever. Dialogue can be great but anything that goes on for too long loses its power. One great line of dialogue is much more effective than 10 good lines or even 10 great lines. Seems like 10 great lines would be better than 1 great line but it’s actually not. The human mind cannot absorb too much of anything at one time. Ten great lines of dialogue one after another will tend to dilute each other. Think about a Shakespeare monologue; some of the greatest writing of all time, but each one was only about 20 to 30 lines long or less (short poetic lines). Now imagine 5 or 6 of these placed one after the other. It would be too much. The impact would be lost. The reader would get a brain freeze. So with dialogue you don’t want it to go on for too long and you don’t want every line to be a zinger. One or two lines of pure genius per stretch of dialogue are all you need. Of course this advice applies to fiction novels. I also write picture books and they are a whole different animal. Nothing in picture books could be considered long. Plus repetition is a prime operative in picture books.

According to most authorities you should never use a verb other than “said” in dialogue and never use an adverb to modify the verb. I do not strictly agree with that. Most readers do not notice breaches of these rules unless they are egregious. Like for instance:

“How dare you!” he remonstrated. 

“What a dump,” she simpered.

Something like:

“What time are you going?” she asked.

Will not even be noticed by a reader. And basically what you are trying to do is to not take the reader out of the story because attention is called to the writing style.  So something like:

“What time are you going?” she asked gruffly.

Will probably also not be noticed by a reader, and may transfer character knowledge to your reader.  That said if you are currently unpublished and writing literary fiction the gatekeepers of this fiction will probably toss you aside for transgressing on these rules. If you are not writing literary fiction, you can probably get some leeway with these rules. If you are as yet unpublished how strictly you want to adhere to these rules is your decision to make. I’m not a fan of these rules, but I’m also not a fan of flagrantly discarding them.  Any type of ostentatious and pretentious writing is to be avoided: like – “ouch!”  she demonstratively aspirated.

You can create long lines of dialogue without any “saids” after the first one or two lines, if the conversation is between only two people it is assumed the lines alternate between the two characters.  I don’t advise doing this. I think it can get confusing. I find it confusing when reading writing like this.  But you don’t have to have a “said” with every character’s line of dialogue.  And you can attach other things to a line of dialogue.  Like for instance some action – I took her hand in mine, “Sybil, dearest won’t you confide in me?” or some inner thoughts like – Helga wondered if Marcel was lying to her about the inheritance, “Where did you get the money for the yacht?”  You can put description of a person, place or thing along with a line of dialogue like – The wind carried the fragrance of the lilacs over the balcony reminding me of last summer, “I miss talking to you like this.” You can break up the dialogue even more with paragraphs of action, description, or inner thoughts. However much you decide to interrupt the lines of dialogue I suggest you do break them up somewhat. Long strings of alternating dialogue with no “saids” or anything else, in my opinion, doesn’t work.                                                                                        

Don’t be repetitious in your dialogue. Don’t have a character say the same thing over and over again. Real people in real conversations do this. But it’s boring!  Also, your characters don’t have to say what is really on their mind. By combining inner thoughts with dialogue, you can convey a lot about a character.

Just as with any other type of writing in your novel you have to have your dialogue move your story forward.  All pieces of your novel have to move the story forward, add some new knowledge, another piece of the puzzle and if not it needs to be cut.  How does each character speak?  How does their speech represent their personality?  What do you need to convey about each character in this piece of dialogue? You need to get the information out economically and hopefully with some style and panache.

Look at writers whose dialogue style you admire and study what they are doing.  Artists learn from other artists. Analyze how they do what they do.